Funnies | Branden R. Williams, Business Security Specialist

Oracle cracks everyone up standard

Did anyone else giggle a little bit when they saw that Oracle delayed its quarterly patch release because it would coincide with the OpenWorld 2009 Oracle conference? According to Oracle, they didn’t want administrators to have to choose between installing updates in a timely manner and attending the conference. That’s funny for me because I have NEVER met an Oracle DBA that was excited about pushing patches to their servers in a couple of days (the original release was slated for October 13, and the conference ends on the 15th). In fact, between Oracle DBAs and z/OS Administrators, I don’t know who wins the prize for yelling the loudest about patching within thirty days. THIRTY days. Not two days. THIRTY ...

Chuck Lorre is a GENIUS! standard

But we already knew that. I mean, with shows like the Big Bang Theory and Two & A Half Men, who can deny his genius? Anyway… For those of you that own televisions and have already realized his genius, you probably know that at the end of his shows there is a 2-4 second blip where he displays his vanity card. Every episode has a unique one, and as most things, the first ones were pretty tame, and they get more and more out there with each passing week (see this blog and Herding Cats in the ISSA Journal for additional examples). Vanity card #221 struck me as something we see in the compliance and security industries. The first part, ...

The Art of the Compensating Control standard

It’s April, and what does that mean? It’s time for ISSA’s 2009 PCI issue! The feature article for that issue, is The Art of the Compensating Control. You can download this version from the website, even if you are not a member, at http://www.issa.org/Members/Journal.html for the rest of the month. If you are reading this after April 2009 and want a copy, let me know. You readers of the blog are going to get a special treat! The original article was much more casual and entertaining than what we ended up publishing in the Journal. Thom reviewed the first final draft of the article and said that it was much too casual. He was absolutely right. I can’t tell you ...

May have to pick up a new hobby… standard

From the greatness of xkcd.com. Possibly Related Posts: What an IRS Scam Sounds Like Pleeeeze Stop Exposing Weaknesses in my Code! Mystery Shopper Scams Getting Aggressive Neutral vs. Agnostic Happy Thanksgiving, and Travel Tips!

The NRF Goes Past Where the Sidewalk Ends standard

Dude. Seriously. Is anyone at the helm of the National Retail Federation? Did they forget to secure the dock lines on the U.S.S. NRF before they skipped into town for supplies, gleefully quoting Shel Silverstein’s Where the Sidewalk Ends along the way? Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black And the dark street winds and bends. Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow, And watch where the chalk-white arrows go To the place where the sidewalk ends. In this recent three question interview with Dave Hogan, CIO of the NRF (courtesy of RIS Executive News Brief), there was either a massive case of misquoting, or ...

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